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Worse Neighbor

By |November 2nd, 2019|Misanthrope|

After all of my bitching about Harry and his flophouse friends, about the noise, the litter, the nakedness and near-nakedness in the hall; after a year of lamenting his inconsideration, immaturity, and disrespect; the universe would hear me, and respond with its typical “fuck you.”

Dulcinea

By |October 28th, 2019|Coupler|

You asked me for my right arm, and I gave it to you. You asked me for my left arm, my legs, my hair, my heart. Sometimes you asked loudly. Sometimes you asked quietly. Sometimes you asked angrily, and sometimes you asked passionately. I was happy that I had something to give you. Until I didn't.

A Christmas Lesson

By |December 22nd, 2017|Short Pants|

On Christmas morning, I couldn’t drink my cocoa slow enough. I eyed the stockings on the mantle and the gifts under the tree. While I surveyed the room, I readied myself for the next round of Christmas cheer. I took a deep breath. “OK, I’m ready.”

It’s Over [Video]

By |December 30th, 2016|Videos|

Today, I lost something near and dear to me. My favorite hat. Some of you know my hat. Some of you only know me with my hat. My favorite hat and I have made a lot of memories together over the past ten years. My favorite hat passed away at 6:49 this morning.

Them Apples

By |September 22nd, 2016|Coupler, Short Pants|

The news about Gina Appleton and me began to spread by whisper through the class. I kept seeing people looking over at us, clearly impressed. My chest swelled with pride, and, being cool and all, I had to fight the grin that was trying to overtake my face. What do you think of me now?

You Are What You Pretend To Be

By |June 5th, 2016|Short Pants, Tribe|

There's an idea in Existentialism that "you are what you pretend to be." It stems from a related idea that we are what we do. Our actions illustrate who we really are. That day under the willow tree, I pretended to be brave. And I have pretended to be brave ever since.

The Birth of the Fool (Disc 2)

By |November 28th, 2015|Coupler|

You know someone's a good guy when he offers to help you move. That guy's a goddamn peach, and that was Shawn in the summer of 2002. And in a way, his act of pure, unsolicited generosity would be the undoing of my relationship with Aimee. In another way, it was totally me.

Earth Day: Don’t Shit Where You Eat

By |April 20th, 2015|Observations|

Earth Day is a feel-good holiday. We have an opportunity to regard ourselves as decent members of a global citizenry. If only for one day, we feel like we're making a difference and making the world a better place. We're saving the Earth, goddammit! But, the Earth doesn't need to be saved. We do.

 

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